Suddenly everything changes 28

            “Galaw tara malik amal fe gorbaha lo yoom

            eb3id o janib darbaha o hatha ho el magsoom..”

***ABDULLAH:

after sitting with the men and chatting for a while, I realized I forgot my phone in the duwania..

so I got up and went to the duwania..

as I was walking, I saw ghala making her way to the living room opposite of me..

I swear as soon as I laid my eyes on her, its like all the feelings I tried to run away from came rushing 

back into my heart..

I could almost hear my heart screaming “WTH WERE YOU THINKING TRYING TO FORGET HER?”

And it was true, that beautiful person standing in front of me has a special place in my heart that no one 

can replace no matter how many times I convince myself to move on..

No matter how many girls I try to force myself to love..

No matter how many times everyone tells me to back off.. I don’t want to!

            “gilt etrkoony wiskito khalo el 3atab wiloom..

            gadny gheregt fy ba7raha wala 3ad efeed el 3oom!”

I want her to be happy..

I want her to have the best life..

I want her to be pleased..

And I wanted to be the one to offer her that..

Me!

Only me and no one else!

I just stood there staring at her, and she did the same..

We were quiet, but all I could hear is the sound of our hearts beating..

Or maybe it was just my heart going crazy..

She lowered her head and looked like she wanted to say something..

Ghala: e7m..

I took a step towards her.. and she took a step backwards..

Me: ghala ana ..

I took another step

And she took a step backwards..

Me: e9ara7a aby akalmich eb mawthoo3 muhim..

I took a step..

She took a step back until her back bumped into the wall..

She panicked..

I looked her straight in the eye..

I wanted her to feel what I was feeling..

I wanted her to know how much I love her..

It was like magic every time I see her face .. all I want to do is hold her in my arms

And just the thought of her marrying someone else..

Or loving someone else..

Killed me..

I swear its like these thoughts sent daggers to my heart..

“galo tara fe 7ubaha wail o asa wihmoom..

            gilt in gatalny 7ubaha 7asby tigol mar7oom”

Me: ghala a7ibich

That was certainly not what I was planning on saying.. or how I planned to say it

The word just escaped my mouth straight from my heart

She looked at me .. her eyes wide

She tried to move.. so I placed my hands on the wall a few inches above her head..

And brought my self closer to her..

I’m not going to let her walk away.. not today

She just stood there speech less..

I whispered: ghala ana asif 3ala el kalam elly gilta thak elyoom allah a3lam enny makint aq9id wala kilma 

gilt’ha.. adry ennich makh6ooba.. o adry enich et7ibeen aziz.. bs ham ana a7ibich fog ma tit9awirain! 

Entay o talah 3ayaztaw wintaw tgololy eny a7awel ansach bs wallah 9a3ba .. 9a3ba!

            “galoly ensa thikraha manta baha malzoom

            gilt ebshiro ya 3atheleen bansa letheeth enoom!”

She lowered her head..

Me: ga3d a7awel aqni3 nafsy enny ansach .. o ga3id a7awel enny ashghil nafsy 3anich.. bs wallah 

kilshay ethakirny fech! Matwaqa3 enny agdar a7ib wa7da kithir ma a7ibich al7een.

I placed my hands on her chin and raised her head..

I started singing quielty: galo btelga ghairha witrik hawaha elyoom.. gilt el3afo ya 7asideeen mabdil 

gamar binjoom!!

She was quiet.. and her silence was killing me

Me: 3ashany golay ay shay..

She sighed..

Ghala: m-madry shaghool..

Her voice was quivering as if she’s about to cry..

Ahhh her voice.. it was like melody to my ears!

But I’m sure she’s thinking about him..

It was always him and always will be..

I just don’t know how to make her change her mind..

           

“galoly ghairik 7ubaha gilt el jawab mafhoom

            dam enaha mithanya shloon a9eer ma7room”

I was just about to speak when ghala lifted her head, saw something behind me and gasped.

***AZIZ:

As I got closer to the building I heard noises..

I turned my head and saw two figures..

It was dark and I couldn’t quite point out who they were

Garrabt yamhum…. O yalaitny magarabt!!!

There they were..

Ghala, and abdullah all over her!

She saw me and gasped..

Then abdullah turned his head, saw me and stumbled backwards away from ghala

I could feel my face boiling from anger..

One second she tells me I’m the only one she loves

And the next I find her in abdullah’s arms!!

I shouted: shga3deen tsawoon?!!

Ghala: uhh aziz bas kan ga3ed egooly shay..

I widened my eyes: la walla!!! Ya3ny elly begolich shay yalzig fech chithy!

Abdullah: aziz wallah ent fahim el mawtho3 ghala6

I swear if I stood here any longer I’m going to kill him..

Me: 9a7 kalamik.. kint fahim el mathoo3 ghala6 lakin al7een fahamt khi6atkum!

I turned around and headed to my car..

I could hear ghala calling my name.. but I ignored her..

I just can’t take her drama anymore..

***GHALA:

This could not be happening!

I was afraid of loosing him before.. and if anything I’m sure I lost him know

And lost my mind as well..

I didn’t feel like shouting at abdullah..

I didn’t feel like crying over aziz..

All I could feel was the numbness

It started in the pit of my stomach and made its way to my heart..

I’m sure what he saw today confirmed all his doubts..

And you know what the funny thing is?

Well actually its anything but funny..

It’s that every time he doubts me, he gets angry and runs away

He starts dodging me any chance he gets and the first thing he thinks about is backing out..

I don’t know why he is so quick to judge.. I mean aside from what happened today, I did nothing to make 

him angry or to make him doubt me.

But for some reason, that’s all he’s doing these days!

Now, I’m starting to hesitate and look at everything in a different light..

We’re just engaged, and every time a problem comes up he runs the other way.

What if we get married and start the real deal, how am I going to depend on him?

Or trust that he will be with me at all times..

Or that he’ll even trust me!

My mind was running in all kinds of places..

Abdullah wrapped his hands around mine.

I was lost in thought but he brought me back to my depressing reality.

Abdullah whispered: I’m so sorry…

I just looked at him emotionless..

He slowly brought me closer to him, and hugged me

And like the stupid girl that I was, I let him.

     "bagthy eleyaly antithir 9abir 3ala el magsoom

     mit3alig eb 6arf el amal yimkin yjeeny noom..."

***NOOR:

hmm.. there is something wrong here!

Aziz still didn’t call me or asked about me!

He’s supposed to fall madly in love with me right after he ate the cupcake!

I decided to call me bff Aysha..

She’s is the only person that knows about the “si7ir” ..

Although it was too obvious that she is a hundred percent against what I did, I still tell her every update

I just need to talk to someone!

I called her..

Me: aloo

Aysha: hala noor

Me: hala feech waay ayoosh aziz still didn’t call me!!

Aysha: ya3ny entay shnu mitwaq3a esawy!!

Me: madry ys2al sara 3any o yitqadamly 3ala 6ool!

Aysha: lata7lmeen wayed!

Me: wallah shfeech the cupcake I gave him can feeha si7ir so obviously that’s what he’s going to do 

sooner or later!

Aysha: way noor please latablsheeny eb suwalfich el ma9kha hathy!

Me: iff enzain maminich fayda!

We hung up..

She hated what I did and I respect her opinion..

But she just doesn’t get how much I need aziz to love me!

So I decided to call that old lady “um m7amad” (who gave me the si7ir) and ask her what went wrong!

It started ringing..

First ring.. no answer

Second ring.. still no answer..

Third ri---

Um m7amad: aloo

Me: aloo esalamu 3alaikum!

Um m7amad: wa3alaikum esalam min ma3ay?

Me: ana noor al***** thekarteny?

Um m7amad: ee hala fecch bnayty!

Me: bs kint bas2ilich.. ana sawait nafs elly giltely 3anna o khalait el walad yakil elly 6ebakhta o 7a6ait fe 

elsi7ir .. bs lail7en masawa shay.. ya3ny ma taqadamly!

Um m7amad: hmm entay shnu 6ibakhteela?

Me: sawaitla cupcakes!

Um: aha o cham wa7da kala?

Me: umm wa7daa!

She continued talking .. and I did not like what she said!!

Me: *GASP* AY SHAY!!!