Nine.

A Walk Down Memory Lane..9

"Shnuu?? Zaid shbitsawyy??" I asked. My heart was beating so fast and I felt my hands tremble.

"Haha shfeech khayfa," he chuckled. "A3arfich 3alaihum, hatha Na9er, Waleed o Mishary, shabab hathy Monya.. el7ub."

He pulled me in for a tiny hug but I quickly pushed him off. His friends were scary; they were all broad chested and bulky. O no3hum elly yalbson bloza thayja 3ashan tbayyin 3athlat'hum. :')

"Hala Monya shlonichh??" The guy with the yellow shirt said with a nasty smile.

He got up and slowly walked towards me. I looked at Zaid hoping he would do something but he just looked at me and smiled. The guy kept walking towards me as I took a few steps backward. He stood in front of me, so close to me. My heart was beating so fast I can feel it in my head. He then extended his hand and smiled, "tisharfna."

I looked at Zaid in horror and ran upstairs. Why did he bring me to this hell whole? Who was that Zaid anyway? I didn’t recognize him at all!

I ran into the nearest room and closed the door but I didn’t lock it, dumb move. I jumped on the bed and hugged my knees in fear. Suddenly I remembered what Rawan said about him. For a second I wished she were here right now!

"Monyaa!! shfeeech??" Zaid asked as he barged into the room.

"Abaih Zaid kil hatha wtgooly shfeech?!! Laish yayib rab3ik hny!!" I said, freaking out.

"Shd3wa yuba entay mo gltay btghayreen jaw! o b3dain latkhafeen tara hathail rab3y min 3umer o atheq feehum!" he said, with all seriousness.

I just stared at him and in my head I screamed, "I DONT CARE JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!!"

"O b3dain latkhafeen tara their girlfriends beyoon ba3ad shwayy fa you wont be the only girl," He said with a wink, because somehow that was supposed to make me feel better. :))

I looked at him, my eyes wide, what the hell did I get myself into. There's a whole side of Zaid that I never knew!!

"Th-their girlfriends??" I asked hoping that somehow I heard him wrong.

"Eee!! Manawy emshay ta7at layfashleeny jdamhum!!" he said.

"Enta min9ijik???" I asked, I was out of words.

"Ha shfeech mu m9adga?? We always used to hang out in the states with our girls," he said with a smile.

Oh my god.

"Y-your girls??" I whispered in shock.

"Ee but now you're my girl," he grinned. He came closer to me and held my hand but I quickly pushed him away.

"Abaaih ma9adgik Zaid!! Shhal ma9khara! Ridnyy elbait al7een!" I shouted.

"Shhhh! laysm3onich ya bnaya! shd3wa hatha yezay mnady rab3y 3ashan awansich??" he said.

"Shlon balla bitwanisny ma3ahum?? abaih and u have girlfriends?? WAIN GA3DEEEEN????" I shouted again.

"Shd3waa 9eray open minded shway! Wai3 matiwaqa3tich min elm3aqdeen elly hny!! I thought you were different!" he was disappointed.

"I thought YOU were different! Zaid enta shlon 9rt chthy? kil hatha 3ashan daris eb amreka shda3wa Zaid walla 7aram elly tsawy!!" I said as the tears filled my face.

"Manawy 7abeebty khalas etha tabeen tg3deen hny ag3aad weyach," he said.

I continued crying as I heard loud laughing and giggling coming from down stairs. Obviously, the girls arrived.

"Umik tadry bily ga3ed etsawy? *sniff* twa9ikh shalaiha eb hal ashkaal!" I said.

"Monya 7abeebty lataghl6een 3ala rab3y tara martha 3alaihum!!" he said with a calm voice but his eyes says he's angry.

"Enzain rdnyy el bait!!" I ordered.

"Laa la7tha bayeeblich shay e3adel mazajech," he said as he left the room.

Before I had time to make a run for it, he came back holding two glasses. Let me tell you this, they weren't filled with water.

I swear my heart was this close to beat its way out of my chest. I felt the sweat pour through my forehead and palms.

"Tefathilay," he said as he handed me the glass.

I just looked at him, shaking.

He gulped the drink in his hand and placed the cup on the side table.

"A-arrre y-youu dru-unk??" I asked. I was stuttering like crazy.

Suddenly Zaid held my face and brought me closer to him, "3ashany lat9a3been elumor o khaleena nstanis."

He slid one hand behind my back and closed his eyes. I looked at him in horror as he slowly closed the gap between us. I felt paralyzed. IS HE GOING TO KISS ME? WTH? I turned my face to the right just in time as the kiss landed on my cheek.

My heart stopped for a second then continued beating like a basketball. I pushed him away with all the force in my body.

"WAKHER 3ANYY YA QALEEL EL ADAAB!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I quickly ran out of the room and into one of the bathrooms and locked the door. I dialed 9ali7's number, I needed someone to get me out of here. I kept calling but with no luck. I sent him a million messages, please don’t ignore me now!!

Zaid knocked forcefully on the door. "Monya ft7aay elbaab!!"

I ignored.

"Monya tsm3eeen?? Khal9eeny mo wagtich etidali3ain!!" he shouted

I ignored.

"Yuba tadreen shlon?? 7bsay nafsich bl 7amam e6agaaaag!! Ana bamshy wintay kheesay hnyy broo7ich!"

"Shsalfa?" I heard someone ask Zaid. It was a girl’s voice.

"Shdarany 3anha dala3!" he said.

"Haha enta nagait wa7da ghala6," she said.

"Ee 3ad ana mkha6i6 ena elaila ... bs yalla elyayat," he said with a chuckle then walked away.

Galby 6aa7 eb ba6ny, ana shsawait shsawaiiit??! Zaid obviously lives a different life than the rest of us. He was my cousin elmafroth ekhaf 3alay o ywakhrny min hal ashya mo egi6ny bain rab3a. Aaaaah ya galbyy!

I kept calling 9ali7 until he finally answered..

"9ali7 plsss ta3al shalaih khalty Maha (Zaid's mother) al7eeen al7eeen," I said with my voice shaking.

"Shnu? laish aro7 shalaihum?," he asked eb kil buroooood.

"B3dain agoolik 9ali7 I'm stuck hny o 7ady khayfa please 3ashanyy ta3aly al7een!!" I begged.

"Shmwadeech hnaak? o laish ga3da tabcheen kany kany msafat e6reej o ana 3ndich!!" he said before he hung up.

I was so terrified of what I have become, and terrified of Zaid and his friends.

3abala ena edinya saiba!! 3abala ga3id eb Amreka elakh!!

Every time their loud laughter erupts through the walls my heart makes a back flip. I was sitting on the floor hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. My mobile vibrated in my hands, which made my heart skip a beat.

9ali7: Monya ana madry shmkhar3ich bs tukfain latsaween shay maynon o g3day mokanich ana shway o o9aal!

As soon as I read his message I burst into tears. This is my brother ladies and gentlemen, after everything I did to him he still cares and fears for me. I did everything to create a gap between my family and I, yet in the end they are the only people who will be sincerely there for me.

I was deep in thought when suddenly someone knocked on my door.

"Monya," a female voice said.

I ignored.

"Monya latg3deen hny bro7ich yalla 3ad tara Zaid thayeg khlga 3alaich!" she said

HUH!! I WANT TO KILL HIM.

"Monya rday 3alay 3al aqal fakray eb Zaid 7aram etkadreen kha6ra!" she insisted.

I SWEAR IF THIS GIRL KEEPS MAKING HIM SEEM LIKE THE VICTIM HERE, SHIT IS GONNA GET REAL!!

My phone vibrated..

9ali7: Monya ana 5 mins o o9al latkhafeen.

As soon as I read the message I got up and opened the door without thinking. The girl and Zaid were standing in front of me. Zaid smiled when he saw me but before he said anything I ran downstairs and out of the shalaih as quickly as I can. I continued running to the street just when 9ali7 was slowing down 3ashan edish dakhlat el.shalaih. I opened the car’s door and jumped in.

"Yalla roo7 9ali7 roo7 please!!" I shouted.

He looked at me in confusion and did what I said.

"Momkin tfahmeeny shisalfa?" He asked.

I just covered my face with my hands and wept silently. I cried the whole way home, and thankfully 9ali7 didn’t ask me any questions.

When we arrived 9ali7 took me to my room and helped me carefully lay on my bed. I was so worn out after all the crying.

"Monya khalas mozain elly ga3da tsaweena!" he whispered as he held my hand.

I kept crying.

"Monya tukfaaain goleeely shfeech? Shilyy 9ar o khalas tit7awilain 180 daraja?" He asked.

Ahhh salfa 6weela, I thought. I can’t possibly tell him everything!

“Entay 3abalich ana agolich hal kalam 3ashan azifich wila an6ir minich ezalla? La walla ya Monya bs ana khayef 3alaich!! O aby asa3dech bs magdar asa3dech wana madry shisalfa!!” he said.

__________

“Makint adry shagool 7ag ukhoyy, walla fteshalt minaa fashla mo 3adeya! O 7asait 3umry ghabeya ena 3ala kil elly sawaita lah wegaf ma3ay o mayabeely ella elkhair!” I said.

“Akeed..” Dr. Manar said.

“Min 3ugub hal salfaa o 9ali7 kil shway eyeely yis2al 3anny.. kint aby agoola bs madry shlon!! Lain yom min el ayam…” I said as the tears, with no warning, flooded my cheeks.

I started gasping for air as I remembered the worst thing that happened, and that can ever happen to a person.

I’m sorry, but every time I remember I just have to break down in tears. Even though it’s been almost a year, but I can never forget it or let it go. I’ve been dreading this moment; the moment that I have to talk about it. Yet, its time for me to say it out loud and maybe try to rid myself from the pain, forgive me for any outbreak.  

**HELLO PRETTY READERS!! I miss youu so much and I miss chatting with you on twitter :(( Anyway I hope you enjoy the rest of this story and tell me what you think through your comments. LOVE YOU!! XoXo

Eight.

A Walk Down Memory Lane..8

"Hala bil7ub," Zaid greeted me.

"Hala feek," I said as my cheeks flushed.

He slid his hand down my cheek, "t9adgen walaht 3alaich!!"

"3ayarttik ams shayfnyy!" I said.

"Shasawy ba3ad, tlomeeny?" he said with a smile.

I was spending a little too much time with Zaid. We met in all kinds of weird places and hung out. He filed the divorce papers, which raised so many questions. My mother interrogated me thinking that I had something to do with it. If only she knew..

I was the happiest person in the world, thinking that God finally answered my prayers and Zaid and I will be together forever.

"Barkeelyy," he said.

"3ala shnu?" I asked.

"I’m finally a freeee man!!! te6alagt hahah," he said with the biggest smile ever.

"Haha mabrook!!" I said.

"Walla mat9adgeen shkithir estanast! A7is ham winzaa7!" he said.

"Wee we lehadaraja elzawaj ham 3ala galbik?" I asked, surprised.

"Waiih el zawaj walla ham o 3awar ras!" he said.

"La wallah!! Tara el zawaj shay 7ilu bs lana Rawan makant the perfect wife fa may9eer tikrah elzawaj kila minha!"

He looked at me and smiled, "haha hathy maniftak minha lazim etkharib 3alaina kilshay khalas sakray elmawthooo3."

I tried not to think about Zaid's sudden hate for marriage, I decided it’s just a reflex of his recent divorce.

"Ok khalas.." I said with a tight smile.

He got out a cigarette and slowly lit it. He took a drag and started smiling like an idiot.

We were walking along the beach in Zaid's shalaih. It was 4 something pm and the sun was just about to set. The cool breeze swept through my hair and slowly tickled my neck; it was beautiful.

"Zaid mta ra7 enrid??" I asked. I was worried because my family didn’t know where I am exactly. I told them I was at some spa and that it will be long. I lied, I know but I’m kinda used to that now.

"Taw enaaas," he said as he continued smoking.

"La Zaid minziman e7na hnyy!" I said getting worried.

"Ok ok yalla nrid al7eenn," he held my hand and walked me to the car.

__________

"Tara walla ana makint chthyy," I said trying to justify my actions. I felt so cheap as the memories continued pouring into my brain.

"Hahaha shfeeech bain kil kilma wilthanya tgolen makint chthy," she said, laughing.

"Haha lana kint afashel bs walla tara mo no3y asawy chthyy o walla ana 3abaly enny kint mistansa ma3a Zaid lama n6la3 o nsolif bs walla enny a7is eb qamta mo 6abe3eya gabil la anam aw etha kint broo7yy," I said.

"Et7seen enich msawya shay ghala6?" she asked.

"Eee a7is aby awagef bs magdar lama ykalimny a9eer chny mdamagha magdar agol laa!" I said.

"Makan 3ndich a7ad tkalmena tashkenla el7al?" she asked.

"La ge6a3t 3elaqty ma3a el kil 7ata ahaly.. o kint agoola kilshay! 7ata umyy yat'ha fatra t3abat wayed o 9i7at'ha kilyom etidahwar zyada. Kint aby asawy shay aby akalimha bs magdar magdar a7is shay ymna3ny!! makint agdar at7amal ashofha wihya ta3bana fa kint ya 7absa 3umry bldar aw 6al3a ma3a Zaid," I said.

_________

I was in my room watching movies when suddenly someone knocked furiously on my door.

"Mnu?," I shouted.

"Ana Saad bsr3aa ft7ay elbab!" he said.

I walked to the door, opened it, and peeked through the small opening.

"Na3am?" I said coldly.

"Umy, umy madry shfeeha tkfain ta3alay!" he said nervously.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Shnu maku a7ad blbait ghairy?" I asked.

He widened his eyes, "agolich umy ta3bana!!"

"Way enzain! Dig 3ala eles3af aw wad'ha elmostashfa y3ny ana shbasawy ballah??" I said while I hurried to the living room, deep down my heart was racing but I acted like I didn't care. Its like I was doing that because I wanted to prove something or wait for my family to do something for me.

"Wai3 ana 6a3 min kalamt o raby maku galb!" Saad said with anger coloring his voice.

It hurt when they tell me things like that but no one can blame them really.

I saw her laying on the couch with one hand sliding sideways, her sight was terrifying. I wanted to run over to her and hug her and tell her that I love her but instead,

"Way Saad wad'ha el mistaw9if kila chthy e9eer feha!" I whispered.

He just narrowed his eyes at me, "Yuma," he called as he slowly shook her.

"Yeebay sweech sayarty bsr3a!!" He ordered me.

"Ashtgh---"

"BSR3AA" he shouted.

I quickly sprinted to his room while praying to God that she will be ok.

"Ta3alay ft7ay elbab," he said as he saw me coming back with his keys. He carried my mother to his car and drove off to the nearest hospital.

I just sat there on the steps in front of our main entrance.

When did I become so heartless?

Kint ad3y raby enna allah y6awel eb 3umerha o yakhith min 3umry o ya36eeha. Kint agool enna ana kharabt 3ala nafsy kilshayy o hadamt kil el3elaqat elly bainy o bain ahaly. A7is eb theegat khilg o qamta mo 6abe3eya. Kint ad3y enna allah yakhith amanty wefik ahaly miny o min mashakly. Faqadt el amal eb kilshay bs lilasaf makint adry enna al amal mawjood. Makint adryy ena sajda wa7da 7ag raby tgdar tnaseeny kil elham elly ana fee. Kint agool yarab takhithny lik waftaak bedal la agool yarab t3eeny wet9abriny 3ala hal ebtelaa2. Kint o Kint o Kint...

My mother's health partially stabilized but she was still in the hospital. All the doctors say its from increasing stress and because she's constantly thinking about something that’s hurting her. They might as well just say that her daughter is slowly killing her.

One day I was in my room crying my eyeballs out when Zaid called,

“Madry walla madry *sniff* bs 7ail thayeg khilgyy!” I said while I sobbed.

“Manawy 7abeebty thikray allah mo zain etsaween b 3umrich chthy!!” Zaid tried to calm me down.

“Madryy..”

“Enzain sm3ay shrayich nroo7 eshalaih bs tghayreen jaw witrdeen?” he asked.

“Shlon aroo7 shagol 7ag ahaly?” I said.

“3adyy khaly o 3amy blmstashfa o khwanich laheen 9adgeeny ma7ad be7is emshayy ana aghayer lich mazaajich!!” he said.

“Aaahh enzaiin!!” I finally gave in.

As usual, I parked my car in the school parking eb man6aqatna and Zaid picked me up. It was a long ride of me crying and Zaid trying to cheer me up until we finally arrived.

I quickly got out of the car and ran to the ocean. The sound of its waves instantly calmed me down.

“Esmaa3!!! Walla maskeeen hatha!!” Zaid said as he finally caught up to me. He was reading something off of his mobile.

“SHisalfa?” I asked.

“Wa7id min erabi3 esma Ahmad AlX tawa kha6ab, haha walla magrood,” he said while chuckling.

“Haw laish magrood maskeen!!” I said.

“Bs kil elly yitzawaj magrood ya7alat 7ayat li3zoobeya!” he said.

He keeps surprising me with everyword coming out of his mouth.

“La walla ya3ny enta mo nawy ttzawajny?” I asked so afraid to hear the answer.

He looked at me and smiled, “Monya chthy awnas min el zawaj la mas2olya wala 3awar ras!”

“Mashalla o laimita bnig3aad nitsa7ab chthy?” I asked, furious.

“Waaaih Monya mo wagta hal kalam emshayy emshay esahra dakhil mo hnyy!” he said as he got up and walked to the shalaih.

Ay sahra ba3ad, I whispered under my breath.

I walked into the building to see three guys sitting in the living room. One of them was smoking and the others were playing with their phones.

“Mnu hathaila?” I whispered to Zaid.

“Hathail rab3yy! Ana yaybich hnyy 3ashan anaseeech elham ya 7abeebty!” he said with a huge grin. He walked over to the window and closed all the curtains.