Suddenly everything froze.
My heart beats, that were once bouncing like a basketball in my chest.
The air around me that was playing with my hair.
The ocean suddenly stopped moving as if it were shocked too.
All I can hear is the ringing in my ear and the sound of Mit3eb's voice echoing "entay 6alig" in the background.
Did I hear him right? Did he really say those words? Was he really thinking them?????
We stayed frozen for a couple of seconds just staring at each other, our heartbeats growing faster and louder by the second.
His face started changing colors..
His eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open.
His hands started to shake and he took a step towards me.
"L-laa, laa Noura la," he stuttered.
I kept staring at him in bewilderment. Its like for a second there, I don't recognize him anymore!
"Laa laa!! Laaa!!" He started shouting like a maniac.
I felt numb. I just stared at him as the tears gushed down my cheeks.
He grabbed my shoulder and started shaking me.
I stared at him blankly. He was shouting words of regret and shame but I couldn’t hear him because my mind was wandering somewhere far off.
Bhal sihoola galha?
Ya3ny bhal sihoola takhala 3any?
I covered my face with my hands and lowered my head.
7maaaar o qasaman billaaaah 7maaar!!!!!
Min wain 6la3at hal kilma!!
akeed bit3a9ib.. o btiz3al .. o btroo7 bait ahalhaa….
La tukfain laa!!
“Noura walla el3atheem eny ma aq9idha!!” I said.
She was lowering her head and staring blankly into space. I held her tiny face in my palms and lifted it up.
“Noura shofeeny,” I whispered. She looked at me with eyes full of tears and disappointment.
“La7that ghathab, o adry ena mo 3ither, bs Noura walla eny ma aq9idha!! Entaay murty o
abeeech ly ana bas!!”
She was silent the whole time but her eyes were speaking loud. They told me things that she would never dare utter. Her eyes mirrored her broken heart.
Ana mosta7eel a3eesh bdoonha mostaa7eel!!
Faj2a.. nazelat eedy min wayeha o meshaat 3anyy
Mesakt ed’ha, “Nouraa la7thaa wain ray7a??”
“Ma agdar akalmik al7een,” she whispered and continued walking back to the chalet.
I stood there looking at my wife go not knowing what to do or say to stop her.
Akhhh!! Allah yaster eb sitra bas!!
O Noura lail7een mataby tkalimnnyy..
Wala 7ata taby tshoofny..
Shasawy?? 3ayyazt o ana atrajaaha ta36eeny wayh o tisma3ny! Adry ena elly sawaita shay
qawyy walla adryy
Mnu kan yetwaqaa3 enna be9eer feena elly 9aar?
Mnu kan yetwaqaa3 enna hal kilmitaaain byi6l3oon mny!!!
Akhhhh!!! Allaah kareeem!!
Kint ga3ed bil9ala.. wela ashof Noura tmur ray7a el ma9bakh fa awal ma shiftha fazaait..
9ij ena sakneen eb nafs el shiqa bs walla a7is eny minziman mo shayifha yakhyy
“Nouraa!” I called.
She stopped walking and turned to me without saying a word.
“Ta3alay aby akalmich eb mawtho3,” I said.
She looked at me for a few seconds and then took a few steps forward and stopped. She
crossed her hands on her chest and waited for me to talk.
“Ta3alay g3day yamyy,” I said as I patted the empty seat next to me.
“Mit3eb baroo7 a9aly fe shay muhim wela aroo7?” she asked in an annoyed tone.
“Ughh,, la ro7ay 9alay,” I said.
Bajy el ayam kanat nafs eshayy.. ana agolaha kilmitain o tadgrny o trid el ghurfa mara
thanya o tagfil 3ala 3umerha el bab.
Adry ena matinlam walla adry.. bs bainy o bainkum china m9akhat esalfaa ya3ny laih meta?
Ok khal t3a9ib bs khal tertha tkalimnyyy khan7il el mushkila!!!!
6ab3an ma3a el ayam kanat t6laa3 wayed ma3a Lulu 3alabuna 3ers’ha garab o bejahzoon
o madry shnu..
Ana mkhaleeha 3ala ra7at’ha, maly khilg asawy shay ghaaby at7asaf 3alaaih gad sha3ar
rasyy!! 3ad ana mgarre3.. elmuhim!
3irs Lulu garab 7aail.. I’m having mixed emotions!!! A7is 7aaail khayfa china 3irsyy ana o ham 7aaaaail mistaansaa o ga3da ad3eelaha ena allah ywafig’hum o ys3idhum <3!!
7adna mishtaa6een ana o Dalal o Lulu kil digeega yitghayar mood’ha tgool lama athakar
eny batzawaaj atwatar o ti3tifis 7alat’ha.. tshawig::
Oh yeah and Mit3eb? I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk about him!! Mnarfiznyyy 7aail!!
T3arfoon shu3oor elly you really want to hate someone and you try to fight the urge of
wanting to punch them in the face every time you see them.. but at the same time you love
them to death and you just want everything to go back to normal again?
No? ok. :(
9ij ena 3ayaz o uhwa yit2asaaf.. bs ely sawa mo shwaya!! 6alagny!! Tadron shnu y3ny
6alagny?? O laykoon kil ma3a9ab begoly entay 6alig? Aby yingiri9! Aby yfakker siten marra
gabel laysawyy shay kha9atan etha kan shay kbeer nafs el 6alag.
Right now I’m trying not to think about the train wreck that is my marriage and focus on better
things like my massage appointment tomorrow and Lulu’s wedding.
The days passed so fast and it was finally Lulu’s wedding day. We went to the ballroom to prepare and see what the wedding planner had already set up. Lulu was in her room
pampering herself and of course freaking out.
Ana kil shway a93adlaha ahadeeha o anzil o ti3tifis mara thanya yaninatnyy!!
When it was almost 5 pm, I left the hotel to go to the saloon for hair and makeup. El9aloon
kan greeb min baitna fa gilt barid baitna abadel o a6la3 mara thanya.
6ab3an el 9aloon kan za7ma o sinaa 3ala ma bidat tsawy sha3ryy! O lama 7a6atly make up
ma3ajabny ya3ny lazim hasuwalif t9eer bil 9aloon :)
I told her to wrap my hair into a high bun and apply simple makeup maby a9eer nafs maloot
jareedat el wa9ee6 ely yit7awal wayeha law7a faneya staghferallah yarabyy!
Elmuhim khala9t ba3da 3ana2en 6aweel o radait el bait.. ashwa Mit3eb makan mawjood!
Makan ly khilg ysa2liny as2ila..
Ma3ana shway a7is eny walhana 3alaih…. Bs LA Noura la!!!! Yitrawaalich..
Kint 7aaail mit2akhraa fa bsr3aa badalt o jabalt el manthara 3adalt el makeup shwaya ..
ga3adt o lebast my jewelry o akher shay el ka3ab..
Refa3t rasy wela ashoof Mit3eb wagef yam el bab ga3ed e6ali3ny.
I gasped and placed one hand over my heart, he scared me!!
Min meta wagef hnyy!!!
I walked to the closet and pulled out a short cardigan and grabbed my clutch. I headed to the
door but Mit3eb was still blocking my way.
“Bt6l3een al7een?” he asked.
Laa bs chthy lebast o khala9t o bag3ad bil9ala agasher 7aab ya3ny shrayik?:(
“Ee,” I said.
“Mnu bewadech?” he asked.
“Ana basoog,” I said.
“La yuba shnu tsogeen,” he said.
“O laish ma asoog?” I asked.
Ya3ny mo wagtiik al7een e6ali3 qarart yeeededa!!
“Ana awadech,” he said.
“Ok ana ban6irik ta7at,” I said as I walked away.
Maly khilg neqaaash lana 7ady mit2akhra!!
We got in the car and he drove off.
I was punching nervously on my phone and he was busy concentrating on the road. The
tension in the air was unbearable. It was obvious he wanted to say something but was
Finally he broke the silence..
“Shaklich wayed 7ilu elyoom..” he said. “Ya3ny mo bas elyoom, kilyoom,” he chuckled.
Faj2a 7asait el wath3 elly tawna mitzawjeen o ma6a7at el meyana 3adel.. madry laish
Bs laa ana m3a9ba 3alaih!!
“Mashkoor,” I said. 7awalt abayenla eny mnafsa 3ishtaw
“Magilt ella el 9iij..” he said.
I smiled and then bit the insides of my mouth because I didn’t want him to see me smiling!!
“Noura shrayich nsafirlina mukan nghayer jaaw!! Yakhy walla aby ag3ad ma3ach broo7na
nitfaham o ni7il mushkilatna..” he suggested.
“Walla madry Mit3eb magdar afaker al7een,” I said.
“Noura tukfaain ya3ny 7isaay feeny!! Laih metaa bnig3ad chithyy agoolich shay witrdeen
3alay eb kilmitain o nsakr elmawtho3?” he asked.
El7imdla ena we9alna el findiq!!
“Madryy Mit3eb lama ariid akalmik enshallahh,” I said before I quickly got out.
I love him. He’s my husband and I have to forgive him at some point. It’s just that something
is stopping me for some reason and I don’t know what it is!!
This is it!!
The moment that I was so excited for and dreading at the same time.
Saad eshawig ga3ed edizly msgs 6ool el yom e7awel ehadeeny bs maku fayda! Imagine
walking in a place wearing 9-inch heels, a heavy dress and all eyes are on you.
Yarab ma at3archaaaab o a6ee7 :’((
Noura o Dalal o one of my cousins kanaw wagfeen yamy 3end el entrance.
“Shloon shakly?” I asked. My heart was beating like crazy and my hands were shaking.
“Ekhthaaay nafas 3ameeeq o latkhafeeen et’haaableeen allah y7afthich!” Noura said.
“Eeee Luluu lat7aateen o ebtasmaay o rif3ay rasich wintay tamsheen o 6al3ay seeda mo ta7at,” Dalal instructed.
“Enshallah enshallaahh!!” I said.
Hab El Sa3ad started playing and I almost fainted.
A7is a6waaaal darb meshaaita uhwa min el bab laih elkosha!!
I was so nervous that I wasn’t able to actually see people clearly even though I was wearing
contact lenses. 7asaait wedy ogaf eb ni9 el 9ala o ag3ad 3al arth o agol khala9 maby akamiil
Elmuhim ba3ad malyon sa3a we9alt el koosha o wegaft malyoon sa3a zyadaa yallllaaah
7ail kan wedy af9akh el ka3ab o ansidi7 el qanafa muree7a :’(
kiliiish mo mistaw3ba elly ga3ed e9eer a7is machina 3irsy
yaw enaas ebarkoolyy o ana khaday nasya ni9 asameehum.. laa o tyeeny wa7da o ts2aly
3arafteeny? Ana a9lan zain thakra esmy min etidoodih madry shasawy!
After a while they announced that the groom was about to enter.
AHHHH a7iis aby a9arekhhh!!!
Mabyy edishon mabyyy asti7yyy:”(
Too late! There he was my handsome husband surrounded by his father, brothers and
When I saw him its like I can’t see anyone in the room except for him. His smile made my
heartbeats slow down.
He reached the kosha and his friends started greeting him. He came up to me..
“Esalaam,” he said and kissed my forehead.
We started taking pictures with his parents, my mother and sisters..
Finally it was just Saad and I on the kosha.
“Elyoom li3eb Man united o Chelsea!! Madryy min ghalab,” he said.
“Mu min9ijik Saad! Ga3ed etfaker bil mubarat al7eeen??? Hatha wagtaa—
“Atghashmar ma3aach shfeech,” he said while chuckling.
“7aail mat’tha7iik,” I said.
“Tukfaaain entaay shftay wayhich? Walla el3atheem filiiim,” he said.
“Maleeeq!!” I said.
“Akeed 9adat’ha el mu9awiraa thakreeny as2alha 3ugub lazim nakhith el9ora o enbawrizha
o enwareeha a7fadna,” he said.
“Maaaashyyy,” I said.
“Enzain shda3wa thi7kaay lazim eb kil 3irs el ma3arees ytsasiroon o yth7koon bs madry
shegoloon,” he said while whispering in my ear.
“Awal shay, el mi3res mayithghaa6 murta eb 3irs’hum thaneyan akeed yimda7haa o ehya
tst7yy o tith7aaak fa yalla emda7ny 3ashan ast7y o ath7ak,” I said.
“Walak Aroo7 lich fidwa,” he said.
“Waai3 Sa3aad,” I said.
“Haha la bas 9ij 9iij, entay a7la ni3ma raby 3a6aneyaha, allah ykhaleech ly yal ghalyaa,” he said.
“Bsr3a th7kaaay latkharbeen el mukha6a6,” he added quickly.
I giggled. “Etshaawig walla,” I said.
“Al7een ana at3ab o agoolich kalam 7ilu o entay ma3idnich ghair etshawig, mid7eeny yalla,”
“Hahaaa! Allaah laya7rimnyy miniiik o ya7fithik lyy ya a7laa rayel,” I said.
“Yah yaah.. laa tharoory a36eech coursat shnu a7la rayel?” he asked.
“Hahaa 3ad hatha elly 6ala3 ma3aay,” I said.
Bas 9ijj 9ij, I can’t imagine my life without him.
“Isn’t it kind of amazing how a person that was once a stranger can suddenly, without a
warning, mean the entire world to you?”
Yes it is!!
I can’t keep lying to myself anymore, I’ve been thinking about Mit3eb the whole time.
Seeing Lulu and Saad together reminded me of the good times I had with Mit3eb.
9ij ena 3a9aaby o bsr3a yafqiid, bas maku a6yaab min galbaa!!
9ij enna marat yahmilnyy o yadgirny, bs awal ma ashkeela el 7aal yit3adaal o y3awithnyy
3ala kil elly sawa.
I want to keep having good times with Mit3eb. I want him to be there for me all the time. I
need my husband, because now, after all this time I’ve spent with him, I think it’s impossible
to live without him.
After everything was over, my mother dropped me home. I tiptoed to my room because I
didn’t want to wake Mit3eb up.
After our fight he has been sleeping in the guest room::
I walked into my room to see Mit3eb on my bed with the laptop in front of him.
He saw me and smiled, “Ha shlon el3irs?”
“Eyaanin mashallah, allah ys3idhum enshallah,” I said as I dropped my clutch and cardigan
on the bed.
“Ameen, yalla 3ayal akhalech ana,” he said as he grabbed his laptop and headed to the
“La7tha,” I said.
he stopped and looked at me, it was obvious he was soo surprised that I stopped him.
“Umm.. aby agoolik shay,” I said. I sat down on the bed because I just can’t stand anymore my feet were killiiiing me from the heels.
“Amraay,” he said.
“Fakaart biqteraa7 elsafra.. o uhh 3jebatny el fikra..” I said.
“9iij??” he grinned and sat next to me.
“Eee,” I said with a smile. We need to work on our marriage, outside of Kuwait!
“Yala nagaay ay dawla tabeen tro7en o ana 7ather,” he said.
“Enroo7 el Maldives 4 days winrid shrayik?” I asked.
“Tamreeen amer!!! Al7een a7jiiz etha tabeen,” he said.
“Haha laa khal el 7ajz bacher,” I said as I got up.
He quickly shot up next to me.
“Noura,” he said.
“Mayamer 3alaich 3adu.. walaht 3alaich,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips.
I smiled, ana akthaar walla
He held both my hands and then I flinched.
I gave him an apologetic look.
“Garibyy miny shwayy.. ridy anfasy 3alay etriky khofik ta3aly wedyy ash3ir eny 7aay!” he hummed.
I lowered my head, I’m sure my face was red.
He pulled me into a huge bear hug.
“Aw3dich enna elly 9ar baina gabel cham sboo3 mayin3ad.. o eny ba7i6ich b3yoony o allah
layfaregnaa enshallahh,” he whispered into my ear.
“Ameen,” I whispered into his chest. Tears began to slowly cascade down my cheeks.
They weren’t tears of misery; no they were tears of joy.
Tears that show the sincerity of my prayers.
Tears that fall because my prayers are finally coming true.
I can feel my heart cry الحمدلله with every beat.
Every time things go wrong around me I will cry and I will pray.
I will cry and I will pray some more until God changes my life to the better.
I learned that when I’m going through a hard time the only thing I should turn to are my
praying mat and Quran.
And as for Mit3eb, he’s nothing like I asked for, but everything I needed.
We complete each other in a way that fills both our lives in joy.
I pray to God that we grow old together and have children and live to see our grand children
But most importantly, that he keeps Mit3eb safe and well.
Soorryyyy 3ala el ta2kheeer!!!! bs hathy akher marra bin3any min hal mushkila lana hatha akher post:p
I reallly hope you enjoyed the story, o sam7oony 3ala lig9oor!
I'm going to miss writing and most importantly your feedback:( thank youu for making this a memorable and amazing experience;**