Four.

A Walk Down Memory Lane..4

“Sh9aar ba3dain?” Dr. Manar asked too caught up in the story.

“Awal ma misha dagait 3ala Rawan, walla khtara3t 3ably msaweelaha shay aw fe mushkila bainhum! Bs 6ab3an ma radat 3alay!” I said.

“Obviously she loves him, chan masawat kil hatha, bs elsu2al laish kanat ta7girich el mafrouth you work things out!” she remarked.

“Adry o I was thinking the same thing, bs b3dain lama kalamt Bader 3araft laish..”

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Suddenly Bader disappeared, I spent weeks looking for him until one day I was lucky. He was leaving class and I stopped him, adry afashel bs what am I supposed to do?

“Bader!” I almost shouted.

“Monya, shga3da tsawen?” he looked around nervously.

“Aby akalmik tharoory Bader, tharoury!!!”

“Ok, follow me,” he ordered.

He took me to an empty classroom and stood in front of the door as if guarding it.

“Bsr3a golay sh3ndich?” he said.

“Umm, shnu elly bainik o bain Rawan?” I asked.

“Ulla entay lail7een 3ala hal su2al,” he said while shaking his head.

“Eee! Please gooly el 9ij!”

“You know what? I didn’t sign up for this drama! Entay o bint 3amich 7ilaw mashakilkum bro7kum yah!” he said angrily.

“You’re the one who caused the problem, and you’re going to help me solve it! latlif witdoor!” I said through gritted teeth. Seriously I don’t have time for HIS drama, he keeps on dodging the subject!

“Enzain, tabeen el9ij? 9arly sina taghreeban akalim Rawan, I thought she was really hot fa it was worth it. Bs ba3dain malait, o ehya ta3alegat feeny wayed! I mean she started talking about kids and marriage I had to back out! That’s when you came in the picture, ya3ny mithl maygolon the heart wants what it wants,” he said with a smile.

I cannot believe what I just heard. My eyes were open so wide, I’m surprised they didn’t fall out of their sockets. Egool hal kalam eb kil burood machina sawa shay!! I want to strangle him!!

“Marrat as2alha 3anich.. 3ad akher shay gamat etanarfaz lany ma9akht’ha,” he chuckled. “I stopped talking to her, gamat etnarfizny yakhy! O kint kila afaker feech! Bs walla akher shay kint akalimha o as2alha wainich bs 3ashan adry enha kila weyach o wain matkoon entay ma3aha,” he grinned.

A huge lump formed in the back of throat. Crying in front of him was the last thing I wanted to do, but I couldn’t help it. I can’t believe how cruel he is! I felt like the room was getting smaller, like it there was not enough oxygen for two people. It all made sense now! Rawan thinks I was trying to steal Bader from her. I didn’t even know they were in a relationship!

Bader came closer to me and held my hand. I quickly pulled it away from him; I don’t want to touch that piece of filth!!

“Monya shda3wa, tara walla a7ibich ana! Ya3ny entay ghair!! Lama akalmich a7is enny as3ad ensan eb hal denya, walla ma7asait hal e7sas ma3a ay bint thanya,” he whispered. Its like he memorized these words and repeated them to millions of girls, he makes me sick.

“Wakher 3any,” I said between my tears. I pushed him away and ran to the door.

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“Wow, 9ij lay galaw ra7aw el reyayeel,” dr. Manar said.

“Ee wallah!! O elmushkila 3ugub kil elly gala o elly sawa, he kept following me and asking for my number!!” I said angrily.

“Min9ijich??” her eyes widened.

“Eeee walla!! La o b3dain madry shlon 6ala3 raqmy, o he kept messaging me, ba3dain faj2a wagaf ethahir maal min el 7egran,” I said.

“Haha zain etsaween fee hathaila mayinfa3 ma3hum ella el7gran! 3ad kalamtay Rawan 3ugubha?” she asked.

“Eeee bs matisma3ny! Khalas Rawan etha 7qedat 3ala a7ad matsam7a eb s’huula! Hatha etha same7ta ba3ad. She prefers revenge; putting people through the same misery they put her through..”

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I didn’t even know that Zaid came back from the States. They said he finally graduated and that he’s back for good. He usually tells me whenever he’s back, but I guess this time he was busy getting married. :)

Ok, I know I upset Rawan, after all she thinks I stole away her future husband. She could’ve talked to me, shouted at me, she can even hit me if she wanted but to go that low and marry a guy she knows I’m crushing on? I don’t even know how she got him to marry her!!!!

We didn’t talk for months, I tried to get her to listen to me at first but nothing worked. O ba3dain tara el ensan 3enda karama o etha ehya sakarat kil el abwab eb wayhy then so be it! She threw away years of friendship, love, and memories down the drain and for what, a guy who doesn’t deserve it.

It was really painful loosing a friend whom I considered a sister over something so stupid. Everyone suspected that there was something between us, but I didn’t really want to talk 

about it. I thought my life couldn’t get any worse but it did, when I saw them in the wedding.

“Shofay bu6aqat 3irs Rawona o Zaid, wayed na3ma,” my mother complimented.

“Mhmm..” I wasn’t interested at all.

“Enzain masharaytay dress o el3irs sboo3 el yay meta ballah btishtreen??” she asked.

I told her a million times that I wasn’t going, but she keeps insisting.

“Yuma gitlich mara7 aroo7!!” I said.

“Shlon matroo7en!! 3irs bint 3amich o wild khaltich lazim etro7en o hathy Rawan mu ay wa7da!!” she said a little too loudly.

“Golelhum enny mareetha ay shay bs maby aro7!”

“Tara mu wagta yibasat el ras Monya! Btroo7en o bacher roo7ay dawreelich shay 

talbseena!” she shouted before she left the living room.

She asked me numerous times what the problem was and why I didn’t want to go, but what 

can I say except for trying to change the subject.

I didn’t want to go, it would be suicide. I can’t see them sitting next to each other. I can’t see 

his hands enveloping hers. I can’t see him whispering something to her just to make her 

laugh, I just can’t!!

But I ended up going there anyway. It was torture, and that’s an understatement.

“Yalla Monya goomay rig9ay, o ebtasmay laish madda el boz!” my mother whispered angrily.

“Rasy e3awirny o maly khilg!!” I kept coming up with excuses.

“Enzain 3al aqal barkay 7ag el 3aroos o 9awry ma3aha,” she said between gritted teeth.

“Yumaa mabyy please!!” I begged.

She got up and extended her hand for me to hold, “yalla o latfashleena,” she gave me a tight 

smile.

I started shouting like a maniac, but in my head of course. She could just chop my head off, that would be better torture than this.

We walked up to the kosha, I stood behind my mother as she whispered something to 

Rawan. When she moved it was my turn to congratulate the back stabber, oh the irony.

“Mabrok,” I said with a straight face.

“Allah ybarik feech 7abeebtyy!!” Rawan said with the fakest smile in the history of fake 

smiles. Ugh.

I gave her my version of a fake smile, turned around, and almost ran to my chair. Akeed umy 

al7een bit3a9ib ena laish ma9awart ma3aha!

After a while the DJ announced that “elmi3ris bedish”. My heartbeats accelerated and my 

palms started to sweat.

Yarab, I kept repeating YARAB!! I hope I don’t do anything stupid.

There he was coming in with the army of men walking behind him and I swear his face was the only thing I can see. My heart started twisting and churning, I missed his handsome face. I never realized how much I love him until today, but its too late.

I exhaled; I realized I was holding my breath the whole time. My whole body started to tremble as I saw him flashing Rawan his million-dollar smile. He slowly kissed her forehead and then held her hand and smiled for the camera.

What tore my heart to tiny pieces was the fact that he’s actually happy with Rawan. He loves her and not me. They will grow old together, and I will be alone forever.

I closed my eyes so tight and hoped that when I open them all of this would be just a dream, but I opened my eyes to see my mother looking at me in horror.

“Shfeech tabcheen 7abebtyy,” she asked as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

I just shook my head and slowly got up and walked to the bathroom. I got into one of the stalls and burst into sobs. My chest kept heaving up and down as I tried to control my breathing.

This is it; today I officially lost a sister and my love. 

الصبر ... مالي انا الا الصبر الغدر .. وشلون جاء منها الغدر ياقلب ابي منك العذر انا ما هقيت ان الفجر يقدر يخون وقت الفجر وان السنين تقدر تمر ابلا عمر لا ماهقيت ان الوفا في قلبها ماله قدر واني انا محتاج مني الصبر ياقلب ابي منك العذر .. وان مارضيت مالي جدى كود الصبر ياجرحي في كل الدهر فارقت انا الدنيا يا طعنةٍ وسط الظهر .. لابد انا انساك

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