Mit3eb ElGalb 27

Abaihhh abaih abaihh!!

I feel lightheaded, my palms are sweating and my vision is blurry.

Why? Why am I crying???

Mo min9ijich Lulu!!:)

Enzain riday 3ala el rayal!!

"Lulu?" His questioning tone brought me back to reality.

He's waiting for an answer

HE’S WAITING FOR AN ANSWER!!!! :O

Abaih lazim ajawba bs shagoool?? Ee ta3al ekh6bny chny ma6foga??!

"E7m," he cleared his throat obviously feeling uneasy.

Elly allah katba be9eer...

Wait, did I just say that in my head?

E7mmm, I cleared my throat.

"Elly allah katba be9eer," I repeated loudly this time.

"Akeed bs ana qasdy enich mitqabla fikrat el zawaj al7een? O taqbleen feeny ka zoj? Adry enich mat3arfeeny bs mabda2eyan entay mwafqa?" He asked.

I finally reached my house. I parked the car, took a deep breath and leaned my head on the seat.

"Umm.. Walla madry shagool," I stuttered.

"Asif adry enny a7rajtich eb hal as2ila, bs aby minich jawab wa7id ya ee ya la?" He said.

I took another deep breath. I feel like I'm running out of air.

9ij enna I have a crush on him bs ma3arfa kiliish!! 

Faj2a ga3da akhaaf 7aaail!!!!

Way Lulu shda3wa lat7asiseeny enna bacher 3irskum:) 

"Ee," I heard myself say.

My heart started banging in my chest. Sweat beads started to form on my forehead.

Laish marad 3alaay?? 

SHFEEE MAYRID??

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my hand and started ringing. 

Haw!!!

"Alo?" I said.

"Asiif walla madry shfee mobily 6efa, ee magilteely shnu jawabich?" he asked.

Masadeg:')

"Ee," I whispered.

"9iij??" He asked a little too loudly.

I can feel him smiling as he talks.

"9ij enna ma9ar shay rasmy, bas mat9adgeen shkithir wanasteeny ya lulu, aw3idich mara7 tshofeen ella kil khair enshallah," he said enthusiastically.

Eshawigggg:(

I realized I was smiling like an idiot, I mean can you blame me?

"Yalla mara7 a6awel 3alaich zyada, ashoofich 3an qareeb enshallah!" He said before he hung up.

I think my heart just sighed.

I felt like little birds are chirping happily around me.

I felt like there are happy butterflies roaming in my stomach and lightly bouncing on my heart.

I grinned and got out of the car.

.

After I took a steaming shower, I changed and went the living room.

Dakhalt el9ala wela umy shagga elwayhh.

"Yaa zeen hal ebtisama," I said as I planted a kiss on her forehead.

She blushed, tshaaawig!!

"Rada mbacher," she said.

"Ee gilt bacher aroo7laha enshallah," I said.

"Ee enzain sm3aay magdar an6er akthar min chthyy," she chirped happily.

Umy 7aaail tishtaaa6 3ala kilshaayy :p

"Hahah 3ala shnu?" I asked.

"Tawa dagat 3alay Maryam AlX," she said.

"Mnu hathyy?" I asked.

"Om Saad AlX," she said grinning even wider.

I stared at my over-the-top enthusiastic mother with my mouth hanging open.

Uma dagat?? Bismilaaa!!!!

"Tabeech 7ag wildha, 3umra 28 yshtghl eb sharikat XXXX," she continued. "Tgool shayfich o shafgan."

:')

I tried to bite the insides of my mouth trying not to smile.

"Fakrayy blmawthoo3 3ashan agool 7g uboch ys2al 3anna," she added.

I lowered my head and started to play with my hands nervously.

"Afaker enshallah," I whispered.

"Aham shay estkheeray o rideely khabar bacher elmara ga3da tan6ir," she said.

"Enshallah," I said.

A chill ran down my spine. I don't really know how to feel about this!

Mit3eb's POV:

Noura lail7een tkrmon traaji3 o 7ararat'ha marra mirtaf3a o marra nazla..

El6abeeb egol etha stimarat 3ala hal 7al bedakhlonha el 3enaya..

Yaraab tshafeeha .. Yarab!

O 6ab3an ana mamnoo3 adish el ghurfa.. Kil yom a6il 3alaiha min elbab.

Ashoof wayyeha a9faar o dmoo3ha 3ala khad'ha!

Akthar  wagt mi7tajatnyy fee bs lil asaf magdar akoon yamha..

El7imdla 3ala kil 7aal!!

"Mit3eb 7abeeby roo7 el baait erta7 shway min e9ub7 o enta ga3ed eb hal kirsy yam el bab," khalty said.

"Laa 3adyy mirtaa7," I said.

Walla 3ad 7ady ta3ban!!

"Al7een Noura nayma o ana tawnny yaya min el bait.. Ro7 enta erta7 3ashan lama tye ana arid elbait," she said.

"Khalaa9 enshallah," I said as I got up.

"Allah y7afthik," she said.

.

Walla mo gader anam!! 

Lifraash moree7 o msakeer kil el laitat o elghurfa barda bs mo gader anaaam!!!

Galbyy naghizny!! Mabyy afawel.. Bs elly ga3ed e9eer kilish maybasher bil khair!

I closed my eyes and my mind started wandering.

Laa tukfa.. Maby afaker feeha

My mind took me to a memory I had buried deep down in my brain, a memory that is almost 6 years old. 

Images of her face started dancing in front of my eyes. Her smile, her frown, her hair... Her eyes.

Like a puzzle, pieces of her face started to attach together showing me the beauty I had known - and loved - years ago.

My heart started tingling. 

Please brain don't take me there.

But it’s already too late. 

Sara.

She’s all I can think about.

I felt a heavy load drop on my heart as soon as I remembered her.

Kint a7ibha.. A7ibhaaaa

Kint a7ib kilshayy tsawee 

Kil kilma tgoollha

Kil tha7ka, ebtesama, nathra

Kilshay feeeha.

Kint lama afaker.. Afaker feeha

O lama anam.. A7lim feeha

O lama abtisim broo7y.. Tkoon ehya eb baly

O ehya? Kanaat t7ibnyy

Kanat edalilnyyy o tkhaaf 3alay

Kanat tesmaa3 kil mashaaklyy o tkhaleeny at7al6am laih bacher o matirtaa7 ella etha shafatny mirtaa7

Kanat sabaab sa3adtyy eb haldinya

Bas lil asaf .. Ra7aat

O mara7 terjaa3

Ra7aat o khathaat galbyy ma3aha

---6 years ago---

"Ahhhhh 7adyy khayfa!" Sara squealed into the phone. 

"Laaaish? Al7een entay mo darsa 3adel?" I asked.

"Eee bs ham khayfa!! Bro7y 3ayda el madda maby a3edha mara thaltha," she complained.

"Mara7 t3eedenha enshallah! Tiwakilay 3ala allah o bitsaween zain," I said.

"Enshallahh!" She said.

After her exam she called me again..

"Baaadaaaa3ttttt," she shouted into the phone.

"Hahahhaa sh'hababtayy," I asked.

"Madry madryy 7aail 9aa3iib!!" She said.

"Enshallah khaair bs khalas latfakreen bil emti7aaan tawich m3a6laa ro7ay stansay," I said.

"Eee adryy bs rasy gam e3awirny min hal madda el khaysa!" She said.

"Wain btro7een elyom?" I asked.

"Shalaaih ma3a elahal, enta?" She asked.

"Shalaih eraabi3," I said.

"Tara lazim tyeebly hadeya bimonasabat 36ltyy," she said.

"Taraa 3a6alatay matakhrjtayy, ana elly batkharraj enshallah," I said.

"ABAAAIHHH YOU PASSED?? Ya3nyyy khalaa9?? Btitkharaaaj?" She shouted into the 

phone.

"Eee elyoom shift el grade o 6ala3t yayib B o el7imdla khala9t," I said.

Hal course ga3id 3ala madda wa7da 3ayedha.. Bs el7mdlaa ybt feeha grade.

"MAABRRRROOOOOKKKKK!!! Wallaa mat9adeg shkither staanaaastt 6oool lisboo3 wana ad3elik," she said enthusiastically.

"Hahhaa matgaa9reen. Walla el7imdlaa ftakaait! Bs 3ad al7een ta3al dawer watheefa!!" I said.

"Allahh ysahel enshallaa btelgaa!!" She said.

"Walla bas atwathaaaf bayee akh6ibich min ahalich 6ayaraaan!!! Bs ba3ad ma3ndch 3ither et2ajleen," I said.

Shagatnyy, kil magitlaha bakh6bch galat lama titkharaaj o lama takharajt galat lama titwathaaf.. Laih meta ya3ny!!

"Hahaha enshalahh," she said.

"Akhh magdaar an6err laih elyoom elly bt9ereen fe murty," I said.

"E9aber zaaain," she said.

"O lama tyebeelina 7amany li9gheer," I said, daydreaming waaaay into the future.

"Hahhaa bismillaaa!" She said.

"Eee shighlyy 7ar eb 7aar makuu na6raa," I said.

"Allah yaktib elly fee khair," she said.

"Ameen," I said.

"Ok ana we9aalt el baait akalmik 3ugub," she said.

"Ok o goleely lama to9len eshalaih," I said.

"Enshallah, yalla bye," she said before she hung up.

Sakart eltelephone o ebtesamt..

Makint adryy eny raa7 abchyy 3ugubha

Kil shay 9aar bsr3a

Nimt el 3a9er.. Ga3adt 3al 7 

Ashoof mobiley o an9idim

Message wara message, 82727 missed call

"Mit3eb dig 3alaay thaarooory"

"Simaa3t elkhabaar?"

"Waainik Mit3ib? Tukfaain latahaawar!" 

"Awal matshof el msg dig 3alaay!"

Rab3yy, shfeehum?

Shisalfa? Ay khabaaar??

Dagait 3ala 9a7by,

"Aloo?" I said.

"Aloo wainiik ent??" Nasser shouted into the phone.

"Tawny ga3ed shfeekum entaaw? Alf missed call o sab3 emyaat msg sh9ayer?" I asked.

"Ahh masima3t.." He said.

"Laaaaa ta7achaa gol shisalfa??" I asked.

"Ent wainik al7een?" He asked.

"Agoooolik ana tawny ga3ed 7ata ma gimt min lifraash.. Bitgoool sh3indik wela shloon??" I said.

Yakhyy qathny!

"Mit3eb ethkir allah.. Ana al7een yaylik lata7araak," he said and quickly hung up.

Walaaain

I dropped my phone and went to the bathroom to shower.

Ga3ed afaker shashtiryy 7ag Sara hadeya... Maku ela as2al Lamees kilish ma3aref eb 

hasuwalif

Khala9t o badalt wela Na9or tawa yo9aal

6ala3tlaa barra

"Halaa shlonik?" I asked as I greeted him.

"Bkhaiir el7imdla, ta3al erkaab esayara ba6ig farra waridik," he said.

"Shfeeek Na9or tara ga3ed etkhari3ny!!" I said as I got into the car.

He pulled away and hit the road.

"Mashift mobilek?" He asked.

"La walla o chiny nisaita eb dary ba3ad," I said as I checked my pockets. "Laa kahu."

"Ana bagoolik bs min al7een agolik haad a39abik tithakar enna kilshayy allah katba kheera --

"Ekhli9 goool sh3ndk?" I said growing impatient.

"Sara.. 3a6itik 3umerha," Na9er whispered staring ahead.

I froze.

Shnu? 

Atwaqa3 galbyy wegaaf thanyitain o rad kamal..

"Na3am?" I asked.

"Sara, tiwafat tawa eb 7adith," he repeated.

Shnu?

I felt lightheaded. Its like every word he's saying is like a dagger stabbing deep into my heart.

Sara?

Sara elly a7ibha? 

Sara elly sta3yalt 3ashan atkharaj watzawajha?

Sara?

"Mit3eb ethkir allahh," I heard nasser say.

I was shaking. 

Every organ in my body started trembling with tears.

I felt a huge lump in my throat and then hot tears stream down my face.

"S-sara?" I asked. "Sara?"

Her name sounded so distant.. So lifeless. It didn't feel real.. Nothing about this felt real.

"Hatha yomha ya Mit3eb, mataby minik ghair eldu3aa2," he said.

"La.. Mu Sara! Sara mafeeha shayy!! Mafeeha shay!!" I shouted.

Shyaaby hatha ygool enna sara tiwafat.

Mafeeha shayy 

"Ridny elbaait," I shouted.

I felt like a ton of bricks landed on my heart. I cant breathe.. It’s like all the oxygen around me is simply not enough.

I pulled out my phone and furiously started punching in Sara's number.

Ring..ring..ring

"Shga3ed tsawyy?" naser asked.

"Al7een bitrid 3alayy o bt3aref enik ghal6aan o ena ehya mafeeha ella el3afya!!" I said.

But she didn’t answer..

She never did..

Even after her death in months.. 

Even years..

It’s always switched off, just like how my life became after she left it.

We9alna elbait o nizaalt min esayara.. Hastaart a7is abyy asawy shay bs madry shnu! Aby a9arekh aby abchy aby a6ig a7ad bas mo gader

Mo gader at7arak min mukaany.. Reely mo shaylaatny

Jismy kila yaarjif ..

I feel like my brain stopped working and all I can hear is Sara's name echoing in my head.

Nasser stood in front of me holding my shoulder and shouting in my face 

I don’t know what he's saying, I can’t hear a thing.

Even my vision started to blur.

All I can hear is Sara's voice..

All I can see are her pretty eyes

But now, they're lifeless .. hollow, sad eyes looking back at me, haunting my soul.

I fell to my knees; they couldn’t carry me anymore. Nasser came down with me holding me from my shoulders.

I sobbed and sobbed.. I never cried this much before, I never knew I had it in me.

I felt like I wanted to rip my heart out.

I felt like my eye balls will slip out of their sockets in any minute.

“Laaaaiiiishhh Laaaaishh?!!!! Tawwwhaa .. taawha 9gheera ya Nasser tawha!” I shouted through my sobs.

“Ethkir rabik,” Nasser said, tearing a little.

“Laaish mo ana ely mayet?? Wallaa ahwan ahwaan!!” I said.

“Hathyy kitbat rabik ya Mit3eb may9eer tgol hal kalam,” he said.

But this is life, I guess..

One minute you’re talking to someone you love building up your dreams like skyscrapers, but you never know when the journey will come to an end.

All you need to do is learn how to move on and let it go..

---back to present time---

The sound of my phone ringing brought me back to reality.

I woke up to see my bed sheets drenched in sweat and my pillow in tears.

I hate thinking about her.. I hate all the heartache it brings.

After her, my life was a dark hole. I hated everything and everyone.

Zadat 3a9abeety o 9irt mat7amal shay o kila maly khlg..

Bas Noura sa3edatny wayed.. ma3a enha matadryy 

Matewaqa3t eny ba7ib a7ad kither ma 7abait Sara.. 

Makint aby a7ib a7ad a9lan.. Kint rafith fikrat elzawaj neha2eyan..

Bas tizawajt o dist 3ala nafsy 3ashan umy.. O ashwany sima3t kalamha

O al7een? Walla madry shbe9er feeny etha Noura 9ar feeha shay..

Yallaaa yaraab enik tshafeeha witgawimha bilsalama!!