Give fate a chance 18

I hate being all alone, with only my taunting thoughts whispering to me. I hate staying up all night in the dark thinking about what if's, maybe's, and what could be. The only time I close my eyes is to stop the tears from falling.

When I’m alone, my heart speaks clearly. With every beat it would remind me of Wahab, the man I truly love. Not for one second would it allow me to forget the look on Wahab’s face when I stormed out of Starbucks. It broke my heart to pieces. You know what’s really sad? He still sends me messages convincing me to talk to him, to reply with any letter of the alphabet just so he could know that I’m still alive. Yet, all I do is ignore him, and with every message I delete I die a little inside.

However, when I’m with my friends my mind would take control. Everything they tell me I would believe. They brainwash me into leaving Wahab and forgetting about him and my mind obeys. It sends me signals and convincing debates of why I should look for someone else. Sadly, I would easily give in to my brain. I would give in to what everyone wants me to do, except for what I want.

It’s been three days since the Starbucks incident.

Today my mother invited some of her friends over for dinner. Of course, she forced me to stay and make small talk with the women.

I decided to wear a dark purple cap sleeve peplum blouse, with black leather leggings. I wore a beautiful diamond necklace with matching earrings you know we have to show off expensive things in front of guests :)

I curled my hair into large waves and was finally ready.

I was in a hassle as the guests arrived one by one, making sure the tea is being poured and the water is on the tables. Some women wanted me to bring them a comb or put their clutches and abayas or shawls upstairs (that is the case with my aunts) so I had to go up and down the stairs a million times while wearing five inch heels.

Halfway through the evening, my mother called me to meet one of her friends. She’s one of my mother’s closest friends and she would always make some remark about how much weight I’ve lost. Yes, I was a chubby child all the way through middle school then luckily lost the weight.

So I walked over to the woman and kissed her on the cheek..

Khalty ghanima: waay mashallah esh7alaatich 9ayra kilich umichh

I smiled shyly: mashkoora 7alat dinyaach

She placed her hand on my cheek: smila 3alaich

She faced my mother: khaldaa! Laish khashat'ha 3anna manshoofha?

My mother laughed: la walla mo khashat'ha

Khalty ghanima turned to another woman who looked interested in the conversation..

Khalty ghanima in an attempt to whisper: smila 3alaiha ebthimitich mu kilha umha?

Ok this is embarrassing.

Khalty ghanima faced me: 7abeebty yeebely may wily y3afeech

Me: enshallah

Glad to be free from more embarrassment, I turned around and looked for the water. As I came back with a tray in my hand I saw khalty ghanima whisper something to my mother, and as soon as they saw me they parted.

I handed her the water.

Khalty ghanima: matga9reen

I just smiled..

She placed the water on the table in front of her and engaged in a conversation with some women sitting next to her, not even bothering to take a sip from the glass!

For the rest of the night I was after the maids, making sure everything was set in its right place and if the food is ready. I promised my self to never wear five-inch heels again, because by the time the night ended all I can see on my feet were painful blisters.

The next day I woke up with sore feet, I instantly thought of spa time. I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I took a warm shower; it was very soothing!

After I finished I went downstairs to eat breakfast with my mom.

Me: 9aba7 elkhair

I kissed my mom on the forehead.

Mom: 9aba7 enoor

Breakfast today is awesome! There were nutella french toast, waffles and scrambled eggs. Yummyyy.

I started eating the nutella french toast, I can feel the chocolate melting in my mouth. This right there is happiness I couldn't ask anymore from this world!!! :p

Mom: Lama 7abeebtyy khaltich ghanima wayed estanisat 3alaich ams

Me: mmm

I was busy trying to put every last piece of French toast in my mouth, it was that good!

Mom: ee fa agolich ehya 3indaha walad 3umra 26 yshtighil eb sharikat ubo mashalla sharikat'hum kbeera

Me: mhmm

Mom: weh 6al3aay hal akil min 7aljich khal a3aref a7acheech!

Lol, akeed shakly mu2rif lana 7aljy kila kakaaw

I swallowed the food, cleaned my mouth with a napkin and faced her..

Me: enzain shfe wildha ana shako fee?

Mom: ee bs ba3ad jam3a o khala9tay o watheefa enshala yaya bi6reej ya3ny entay 3umrich munasib lilzawaj

My eyes popped out of their sockets.

Mom: o uhwa wild naas san3een o 3inda man9ib o floos ba3ad shtabeen akthar? Ghanima ams dagat 3alay tgoly kalmay bintich!

I just looked at her, but all I saw was Wahab. I couldn't, I don't want to! I feel like if I said yes to khalty ghanima's son, I would be betraying Wahab.

My brain, however, had an interesting point, the guy has money and a great job he has the full package! Unlike Wahab, with khalty ghanima's son I can buy literally everything since they’re very rich!

My mother interrupted my thoughts: fa shgiltay? 6ab3an awal shay lazim etshofon ba3ath o etha erte7taw 7ag ba3ath yi6awar el mawthoo3 bs latkhafeen mara7 naq9ibich 3ala shay.

She placed her hand on my shoulder: entay alf wa7id yitmanach! O hatha khosh wa7id wild 3ayla fakray bil mawthoo3 3adil!

I could hear Wahab whispering into my ear: "I thought you were different, I thought you were special. When I first saw you there was this spark in your eyes that lured me in. You didn't seem like the type of girl who cared so much for money, or made it a priority. Lil2asaf khab thany feech o 6ala3tay mithil ay bint thanya!"

He sent me this text last night, and it just hit me. I looked at it yesterday but I was too tired to think, but now I can feel the pain. I don't want to be that kind of girl! I hate that girl!

Mom: ha shfeech tana7ttay?

Me: uhh la mafeeny shay bs um madry afaker

I got up and went to my room.

I lied. I’m not going to think about it. There is nothing to think about. I can’t marry someone while my heart is still with Wahab. Even if he had all the money in the world!

I wanted to see wahab, I need to talk to him face to face! I called Dalia,

Me: aloo

Dalia: hala

Me: tyeen weyay spa time??

Dalia: hmm, ok yalla!

Me: golay 7ag Shaikha o Reema etha yaboon eyon 3alama abadel!

Dalia: ok

We hung up

I quickly changed my clothes and tied my hair in a ponytail. I informed my mother that I was going out and told the driver to bring the car. Yes, my car is still getting fixed :)

Before I left the house I tweeted: @Lamaal******: heading to Spa time, avenues :D

I secretly hoped that Wahab would meet me there.

After a while, the girls and I gathered in Dip n Dip before heading to spa time. I nervously 

glanced at the people making their way to the café hoping Wahab would be one of them.

I looked at my phone numerous times hoping I would get a message from Wahab, but I got 

nothing.

Reema turned to me: so how are you holding up?

I sighed: madry, o nisait la agolikum.. rfeejat umy kalimat umy ena tabeeny umm.. 7ag wild’ha

Shaikha: shisimha?

I glared at her bs hatha elly ehimha el esim: ehya esimha Ghamima al***** makhtha wild 

Al******

Shaikha: abaih 7adich wafqaaay!!!

Me: madryy

Reema: shinu madry!! Tadreen ena alf bnaya wid’ha enna wa7id min hal3ayla yitqadamlaha! 

Wentay 7a9ilich witgoleen madry!

Dalia: lama fakray bil mawthoo3 3adel malich shighil feehum, gi3day ma3a o kalmee ba3dain 

qariray!

Me: bs I still have feelings for wahab ya3ny magdar ansaa marra a7da!

Shaikha: waaih kil 7achwa wilthanya galaty wahab khalas ya bint enseeh hal insan mara7 

efedich cham marra gilnalich!

Dalia: enzain shisim el walad?

Me: walla madry masa2alt!

Reema: tara 9a7 kalam Dalia gi3day ma3a ba3dain qariray

Shaikha: waay mu min9ijkum! Lamo ma3indich salfa etha giltay la!

I didn’t want to start a fight in public so I chose to ignore her :)

We finally finished from Spa time and everyone said their goodbyes as they made their way to 

the parking lot. I, on the other hand, stayed for a little while longer hoping Wahab would show 

up.

After 10 minutes of waiting I gave up and went home. I think he moved on, but if he really loves 

me he would’ve waited for me! I was really angry with him.

I entered the house to see my dad talking to two men near the door. When I opened the door all 

three of them looked at me. I just smiled awkwardly not knowing what to do.

My dad told the men: hathy binty Lama

He turned to me: hatha 3amich Khalid, o hatha 3amich Na9er rab3y

Me: esalam 3alaikum

Khalid: hala feech shlonich yuba?

Na9er said in the same time: shakhbarich?

Me: el7imdila bkhair yalla ana asta2thin

Khalid was giving me approving looks. I remember him from that day that I wrapped Wahab’s 

ghitra on my waist. I still have his ghitra and it still smells good.

Anyway, he looked at me from head to toe and smiled in satisfaction. Creepy! I just lowered my 

head and power walked to the stairs.